“wasn’tthereanyonewhowantedtohelpharriet？”

“henrik,ofcourse.intheendsheovedintohishouse.butdon’tfetthathewaspreoupiedplayingtheroleofthebigindustrialist.hewasusuallyofftravellingsoewhereanddidn’thavealotoftietospendwithharrietandmartin.iissedalotofthisbecauseiwasinuppsalaandtheninstockhol—andletetellyou,ididn’thaveaneasychildhoodyselfwithharaldasyfather.inhindsighti’verealisedthattheproblewasthatharrietneverconfidedinanyone.shetriedhardtokeepupappearancesandpretendthattheywereonebighappyfaily.”

“denial.”

“yes.butshechangedwhenherfatherdrowned.shecouldnolongerpretendthateverythingwasok.upuntilthenshewas…idon’tknowhowtoexplainit:extreelygiftedandprecocious,butonthewholearatherordinaryteenager.duringthelastyearshewasstillbrilliant,gettin. comarksineveryexaandsoon,butitseeedasifshedidn’thaveanysoul.”

“howdidherfatherdrown？”

“intheostprosaicwaypossible.hefelloutofarowingboatrightbelowhiscabin.hehadhistrousersopenandanextreelyhighalcoholcontentinhisblood,soyoucanjustiaginehowithappened.martinwastheonewhofoundhi.”

“ididn’tknowthat.”

“it’sfunny.martinhasturnedouttobeareallyfineperson.ifyouhadaskedethirty-fiveyearsago,iwouldhavesaidthathewastheoneinthefailywhoneededpsychiatriare.”

“whyso？”

“harrietwasn’ttheonlyonewhosufferedilleffectsfrothesituation.foranyyearsmartinwassoquietandintrovertedthathewaseffectivelyantisocial.bothchildrenhadaroughtieofit.iean,wealldid.ihadyownprobleswithyfather—iassueyourealisethathe’sstarkravingad.mysister,anita,hadthesaeproble,asdidalexander,ycousin.itwastoughbeingyounginthevangerfaily.”

“whathappenedtoyoursister？”

“shelivesinlondon.shewentthereintheseventiestoworkinaswedishtravelagency,andshestayed.shearriedsoeone,neverevenintroducedhitothefaily,andanontheyseparated.todayshe’sasenioranagerofbritishairways.sheandigetalongfine,butwearenotuchincontactandonlyseeeachothereveryotheryearorso.sheneverestohedestad.”

“whynot？”

“aninsanefather.isn’tthatexplanationenough？”

“butyoustayed.”

“idid.alongwithbirger,ybrother.”

“thepolitician.”

“areyouakingfunofe？birgerisolderthananitaande.we’veneverbeenveryclose.inhisowneyeshe’safantasticallyiportantpoliticianwithafutureinparliaentandaybeinisterialrank,iftheconservativesshouldwin.inpointoffacthe’saoderatelytalentedlocalcouncillorinareotecornerofsweden,whichwillprobablybeboththehighpointandthewholeextentofhiscareer.”

“ohingthattickleseaboutthevangerfailyisthatyouallhavesuchlowopinionsofeachother.”

“that’snotreallytrue.i’veryfondofmartinandhenrik.andialwaysgotonwellwithysister,forallthatweseldoseeeachother.idetestisabellaandcan’tabidealexander.andineverspeaktoyfather.sothat’saboutfifty-fiftyinthefaily.birgeris…well,oreofa usfatheadthanabadperson.butiseewhatyouean.lookatitthisway:ifyou’reaeberofthevangerfaily,youlearnearlyontospeakyourind.wedosaywhatwethink.”

“ohyes,i’venoticedthatyouallgetstraighttothepoint.”blokviststretchedouthishandtotouchherbreast.“iwasn’therefifteeninutesbeforeyouattackede.”

“tobehonest,i’vebeenwonderinghowyouwouldbeinbedeversinceifirstsawyou.anditfeltrighttotryitout.”

forthefirsttieinherlifesalanderfeltastrongneedtoasksoeoneforadvice.theproblewasthataskingforadviceeantthatshewouldhavetoconfideinsoeone,whichinturnwouldeanrevealinghersecrets.whoshouldshetell？shewassiplynotverygoodatestablishingcontactwithotherpeople.

aftergoingthroughheraddressinherind,shehad,strictlyspeaking,tenpeoplewhoightbeconsideredhercircleofacquaintances.

shecouldtalktoplague,whowasoreorlessasteadypresenceinherlife.buthewasdefinitelynotafriend,andhewasthelastpersononearthwhowouldbeabletohelpsolveherproble.notanoption.

salander’ssexlifewasn’tquiteasodestasshehadledadvokatbjurantobelieve.ontheotherhand,sexhadalwaysourredonherconditionsandatherinitiative.shehadhadoverfiftypartnerssincetheageoffifteen.thattranslatedintoapproxiatelyfivepartnersperyear,whichwasokforasinglegirlwhohadetoregardsexasanenjoyablepastie.butshehadhadostofthesecasualpartnersduringatwo-yearperiod.thosewerethetuultuousyearsinherlateteenswhensheshouldhaveeofage.

therewasatiewhensalanderhadstoodatacrossroadsanddidnotreallyhavecontroloverherownlife—whenherfuturecouldhavetakentheforofanotherseriesofcaseentriesaboutdrugs,alcohol,andcustodyinvariousinstitutions.aftersheturnedtwentyandstartedworkingatmiltonsecurity,shehadcaleddownappreciablyand—shethought—hadgotagriponherlife.

shenolongerfeltthenee. comleaseanyonewhoboughtherthreebeersinapub,andshedidnotexperiencetheslightestdegreeofself-fulfilentbygoinghoewithsoedrunkwhosenaeshecouldnotreeber.duringthepastyearshehadhadonlyoneregularsexpartner—hardlyproiscuous,ashercaseentriesduringherlateteenshaddesignatedher.

forher,sexhadostoftenbeenwithoneofaloosegroupoffriends；shewasnotreallyaeber,butshewasaeptedbecausesheknewcillanorén.sheetcillainherlateteenswhen,atpalgren’sinsistence,shewastryingtogettheschoolcertificateshehadfaile. comleteatkovux.cillahadplu-redhairstreakedwithblack,blackleathertrousers,aringinhernose,andasanyrivetsonherbeltassalander.theyhadglaredsuspiciouslyateachotherduringthefirstclass.

forsoereasonsalanderdidnotunderstand,theyhadstartedhangingouttogether.salanderwasnottheeasiestpersontobefriendswith,andespeciallynotduringthoseyears,butcillaignoredhersilencesandtookheralongtothebar.throughcilla,shehadbeeaeberof“evilfingers,”whichhadstartedasasuburbanbandconsistingoffourteenagegirlsinenskedewhowereintohardrock.tenyearslater,theywereagroupoffriendswhoetatkvarnenontuesdaynightstotalktrashaboutboysanddiscussfeinis,thepentagra,usic,andpoliticswhiletheydranklargequantitiesofbeer.theyalsoliveduptotheirnae.

salanderfoundherselfonthefringeofthegroupandrarelycontributedtothetalk,butshewasaeptedforwhoshewas.shecouldeandgoasshepleasedandwasallowedtositinsilenceoverherbeerallevening.shewasalsoinvitedtobirthdaypartiesandchristasgl？ggcelebrations,thoughsheusuallydidn’tgo.

duringthefiveyearsshehungoutwith“evilfingers,”thegirlsbegantochange.theirhaircolourbecaelessextree,andtheclothingcaeoreoftenfrotheh＆ap；mboutiquesratherthanfrofunkymyrorna.theystudiedorworked,andoneofthegirlsbecaeaother.salanderfeltasifsheweretheonlyonewhohadnotchangedabit,whichcouldalsobeinterpretedasthatshewassiplyarkingtieandgoingnowhere.

buttheystillhadfun.iftherewasoneplacewhereshefeltanysortofgroupsolidarity,itwasinthepanyofthe“evilfingers”and,byextension,withtheguyswhowerefriendswiththegirls.

“evilfingers”wouldlisten.theywouldalsostandupforher.buttheyhadnocluethatsalanderhadadistrictcourtorderdeclaringhernonposentis.shedidn’twantthetobeeyeingherthewrongway,too.notanoption.

apartfrothat,shedidnothaveasingleex-classateinheraddress.shehadnoworkorsupportgrouporpoliticalcontactsofanykind.sowhocouldsheturntoandtellaboutherprobles？

thereightbeoneperson.shedeliberatedforalongtieaboutwhethersheshouldconfideindraganaransky.hehadtoldherthatifsheneededhelpwithanything,sheshouldnothesitatetoetohi.andshewassurethatheeantit.

aranskyhadgropedheroietoo,butithadbeenafriendlygroping,noillintentions,andnotadeonstrationofpower.buttoaskhiforhelpwentagainstthegrain.hewasherboss,anditwouldputherinhisdebt.salandertoyedwiththeideaofhowherlifewouldtakeshapeifaranskywereherguardianinsteadofbjuran.shesiled.theideawasnotunpleasant,butaranskyighttaketheassignentsoseriouslythathewouldsotherherwithattention.thatwas…well,possiblyanoption.

eventhoughshewaswellawareofwhatawoen’scrisiscentrewasfor,itneverourredtohertoturntooneherself.crisiscentresexisted,inhereyes,forvictis,andshehadneverregardedherselfasavicti.consequently,heronlyreainingoptionwastodowhatshehadalwaysdone—takeattersinherownhandsandsolveherproblesonherown.thatwasdefinitelyanoption.

anditdidnotbodewellforherradvokatnilsbjuran.