he. compedbelowceciliavanger’shouseandstoleaglanceatthelightedwindowsonth. comfloor.thenhewenthoeandputonsoecoffeeofhisown.hewentintohisofficewhilehewaitedforittobrew.

beforehepresentedhiselfattheprisonhehadreturnedtheajorityofvanger’sdocuentationonharriet.ithadseeedwisenottoleaveitinaneptyhouse.nowtheshelveslookedbare.hehad,ofthereports,onlyfiveofvanger’sownnotes,andthesehehadtakenwithhitorull？kerandnowknewbyheart.henoticedanalbuonth. comshelfofthecasethathehadfotten.

hecarriedittothekitchentable.hepouredhiselfcoffeeandbegangoingthroughit.

theywerephotographsthathadbeentakenonthedayharrietdisappeared.thefirstofthewasthelastphotographofharriet,atthechildren’sdayparadeinhedestad.thenthereweresoe180crystal-clearpicturesofthesceneoftheaidentonthebridge.hehadexainedtheiagesonebyonewithaagnifyingglassonseveraloasionspreviously.nowheturnedthepagesalostabsent-indedly；heknewhewasnotgoingtofindanythinghehadnotseenbefore.infacthefeltallofasuddenfedupwiththeunexplainabledisappearanceofharrietvangerandslaedthealbushut.

restlesslyhewenttothekitchenwindowandpeeredoutintothedarkness.

thenheturnedhisgazebacktothealbu.hecouldnothaveexplainedthefeeling,butathoughtflittedthroughhishead,asthoughhewerereactingtosoethinghehadjustseen.itwasasthoughaninvisiblecreaturehadwhisperedinhisear,akingthehairsonthebackofhisneckstandonend.

heopenedthealbuagain.hewentthroughitpagebypage,lookingatallthepicturesofthebridge.helookedattheyoungerversionofanoil-soakedhenrikvangerandayoungerharald,aanwhohehadstillnotet.thebrokenrailing,thebuildings,thewindowsandthevehiclesvisibleinthepictures.hecouldnotfailtoidentifyatwenty-year-oldceciliaintheidstoftheonlookers.shehadonalight-coloureddressandadarkjacketandwasinatleasttwentyofthephotographs.

hefeltafreshexciteent,andovertheyearsblokvisthadlearnedtotrusthisinstincts.theseinstinctswerereactingtosoethinginthealbu,buthecouldnotyetsaywhatitwas.

hewasstillatthekitchentableat11:00,staringonebyoneagainatthephotographswhenheheardthedooropen.

“mayiein？”itwasceciliavanger.withoutwaitingforananswershesatdownacrossfrohiatthetable.blokvisthadastrangefeelingofdéjàvu.shewasdressedinathin,loose,light-coloureddressandagreyish-bluejacket,clothesalostidenticaltothoseshewaswearinginthephotographsfro1966.

“you’retheonewho’stheproble,”shesaid.

blokvistraisedhiseyebrows.

“fivee,butyoutookebysurprisewhenyouknockedonthedoortonight.nowi’sounhappyican’tsleep.”

“whyareyouunhappy？”

“don’tyouknow？”

heshookhishead.

“ifitellyou,proiseyouwon’tlaugh.”

“proise.”

“wheniseducedyoulastwinteritwasanidiotic,ipulsiveact.iwantedtoenjoyyself,that’sall.thatfirstnightiwasquitedrunk,andihadnointentionofstartinganythinglong-terwithyou.thenitturnedintosoethingelse.iwantyoutoknowthatthoseweekswithyouasyoasionalloverweresoeofthehappiestinylife.”

“ithoughtitwaslovelytoo.”

“mikael,i’vebeenlyingtoyouandtoyselfthewholetie.i’veneverbeenparticularlyrelaxedaboutsex.i’vehadfivesexpartnersinyentirelife.oncewheniwastwenty-oneandadebutante.thenwithyhusband,whoietwheniwastwenty-fiveandwhoturnedouttobeabastard.andthenafewtieswiththreeguysietseveralyearsapart.butyouprovokedsoethingine.isiplycouldn’tgetenough.ithadsoethingtodowiththefactthatyou’resoundeanding.”

“cecilia,youdon’thaveto…”

“shh—don’tinterrupt,ori’llneverbeabletotellyouthis.”

blokvistsatinsilence.

“thedayyouleftforprisoniwasabsolutelyiserable.youweregone,asthoughyouhadneverexisted.itwasdarkhereintheguesthouse.itwascoldandeptyinybed.andthereiwas,anoldaidoffifty-sixagain.”

shesaidnothingforawhileandlookedblokvistintheeyes.

“ifellinlovewithyoulastwinter.ididn’teanto,butithappened.andthenitookstockandrealisedthatyouwereonlyhereteporarily；onedayyou’llbegoneforgood,andi’llstayherefortherestofylife.ithurtsodanuchthatidecidediwasn’tgoingtoletyouinagainwhenyoucaebackfroprison.”

“i’sorry.”

“it’snotyourfault.whenyoulefttonightisatandcried.iwishihadthechancetoliveylifeoveragain.theniwoulddecideonohing.”

“what’sthat？”

shelookeddownatthetable.

“thatiwouldhavetobetotallyinsao. comseeingyoujustbecauseyou’regoingtoleaveoneday.mikael,canwestartagain？canyoufetwhathappenedearlierthisevening？”

“it’sfotten,”hesaid.“butthankyoufortellinge.”

shewasstilllookingdownatthetable.

“ifyoustillwante,let’sdoit.”

shelookedathiagain.thenshegotupandwentovertothebedroodoor.shedroppedherjacketonthefloorandpulledherdressoverherheadasshewent.

blokvistandceciliavangerwokeupwhenthefrontdooropenedandsoeonewaswalkingthroughthekitchen.theyheardthethudofsoethingheavybeingputdownnearthewoodstove.thenbergerwasstandinginthebedroodoorwaywithasilethatrapidlychangedtoshock.

“oh,goodlord.”shetookastepback.

“hi,erika,”blokvistsaid.

“hi.i’sosorry.iapologiseathousandtiesforbarginginlikethis.ishouldhaveknocked.”

“weshouldhavelockedthefrontdoor.erika—thisisceciliavanger.cecilia—erikabergeristheeditorinchiefofmillenniu.”

“hi,”ceciliasaid.

“hi,”bergersaid.shelookedasthoughshecouldnotdecidewhethertostepforwardandpolitelyshakehandsorjustleave.“uh,i…icangoforawalk…”

“whatdoyousa. comuttingonsoecoffeeinstead？”blokvistlookedatthealarclockonthebedsidetable.justpastnoon.

bergernoddedandpulledthebedroodoorshut.blokvistandcecilialookedateachother.ceciliaappearedebarrassed.theyhadadeloveandtalkeduntil4:00intheorning.thenceciliasaidshethoughtshe’dsleepoverandthatinthefutureshewouldn’tgiveatinker’scusswhoknewshewassleepingwithmikaelblokvist.shehadsleptwithherbacktohiandwithhisartuckedaroundherbreasts.

“listen,it’sok,”hesaid.“erika’sarriedandsheisn’tygirlfriend.weseeeachothernowandthen,butshedoesn’tcareatallifyouandihavesoething…she’sprobablyprettyebarrassedherselfrightnow.”

whentheywentintothekitchenawhilelater,erikahadsetoutcoffee,juice,leonaralade,cheese,andtoast.itselledgood.ceciliawentstraightuptoherandheldoutherhand.

“iwasalittleabruptinthere.hi.”

“dearcecilia,i’sosorryfor. cominginlikeanelephant,”saidaveryebarrassederikaberger.

“fetit,forgod’ssake.andlet’shavebreakfast.”

afterbreakfastbergerexcusedherselfandleftthealone,sayingthatshehadtogoandsayhellotovanger.ceciliaclearedthetablewithherbacktomikael.hewentupandputhisarsaroundher.

“what’sgoingtohappennow？”ceciliasaid.

“nothing.thisisthewayitis—erikaisybestfriend.sheandihavebeentogetheroffandonfortwentyyearsandwillprobablybe,onandoff,togetherforanothertwenty.ihopeso.butwe’veneverbeenacoupleandwenevergetinthewayofeachother’sroances.”

“isthatwhatwehave？aroance？”

“idon’tknohatwehave,butapparentlywegetalong.”

“where’sshegoingtosleeptonight？”

“we’llfindheraroosoewhere.oneofhenrik’sspareroos.shewon’tbesleepinginybed,anyway.”

ceciliathoughtaboutthisforaoent.

“idon’tknowificanhandlethis.youandsheightfunctionthatway,butidon’tknow…i’venever…”sheshookherhead.“i’goingbacktoyplace.ihavetothinkaboutthisforawhile.”

“cecilia,youaskedeearlieranditoldyouaboutyrelationshipwitherika.herexistencecan’tbeanygreatsurprisetoyou.”